Over the past decade there has been lots of discussion about whether humans are “naturally” monogamous or if we are actually polyamorous creatures in a monogamy-focused culture. As these discussions increasingly focus on evidence that we evolved as promiscuous and non-monogamous mammals (just look at our close relatives, the lusty bonobos…), this can have the effect of threatening people’s ideas about what is right for them and whether they are making the right relationship choices.
This can be rather confronting.
But rather than seeing this evidence as a prescription for how you should be running your relationship/s, an alternative way to use this information is to acknowledge that our culture’s preferred form of relationship (the monogamous relationship) will come with challenges: The challenge of managing attractions to other people, the challenge of familiarity and reduced novelty, the challenge of managing ongoing conflict, and the challenge of routine.
And this is just to name a few. Continue reading If Humans are “Naturally” Promiscuous, is Monogamy Wrong?