Sexual Difficulties

Note: Most resources about sex and sex therapy are written for people who are cisgender (ie. not trans, gender diverse or non-binary) and heterosexual. This limits the information and can alienate people with diverse genders, bodies and sexualities. My hope is that people can take what is useful and relevant for them from the resources below.

Books

Click here for books on sexual pain.

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski – a great book about the science of female sexuality exploring topics like sexual interest, sexual arousal, and barriers to enjoyable sex.

Good Loving Great Sex and Where Did My Libido Go by Dr Rosie King – two books about building a sensual and satisfying sexual relationship and managing mismatched libido/desire discrepancies in a couple.

Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines – a guide for survivors of sexual assault experiencing sexual difficulties in adulthood (focus is on women).

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel – an exploration of the barriers to erotic aliveness in long term relationships, and suggestions for how to cultivate sexual anticipation and desire.

When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life by Sandra Pertot – about different sexual/libido styles and strategies for mismatched sexual styles within a relationship.

Apps

Dipsea – an app full of erotic audio stories to suit varied tastes. Queer and/or straight stories can be chosen and there are several with trans and non-binary characters. Themes include ‘Romantic’, ‘Rough & Wild’, ‘Hookups’, ‘Adventurous’, ‘Black Voices’ and many others.

OMGYes – an app designed to help women explore sexual pleasure by teaching different touch techniques. The focus is on cis women and their partners, but the exercises are relevant to anyone with a vulva and vagina.

Sex toys and Sexual Aids – trusted suppliers

Lynda Carlyle’s Adult Store

Passionfruit Sensuality Store

Finding help

If finding help has become difficult, here are some options to explore.

The Society of Australian Sexologists

Monash Health Sexual Medicine and Therapy (Moorabin)

Royal Women’s Hospital Sexual Counselling Clinic (Parkville)