Last night I gave a talk on sexuality to a prostate cancer support group. After prostate cancer treatment, many men and couples struggle with changes in erectile function, as well as other changes that can impact sexuality like low mood, stress, lack of ejaculation, existential crisis, incontinence and side effects of medications.
My talk was about non-medical ways to foster enjoyable sexual experiences. And with a crowd all at least 30 years my senior, I wasn’t quite sure how they would respond to my no holds barred approach to talking about sex.
But to my great joy, this group was full of comedy.
The first hand went up about 2 minutes into my talk, when one man called out “Oral sex? Is that where you just talk about having sex?” Oh, we were off to a good start!
About 5 minutes later the giggles and jokes started again around the theme of “frottage” as one guest asked “Do you mean dry humping?”
Then, during the middle of the talk, somebody encouraged the whole group to think of different terms for masturbation. The crowd lit up: “Wanking”, “Gilding the lily”, “Patting the python”…etc etc.
Yes there were some serious parts, and yes I think I got some good sex-positive messages across, but this was a really fun presentation.
And afterwards, a medical rep showed us some penis implants. You can imagine what occurred, right? Jokes about accidental erections, jokes about how hard you’d have to work to wear the equipment out, jokes about deep sea diving (no, they don’t burst).
But apart from this being a great deal of fun, this group also demonstrated something fundamental about sexuality – we could all learn to have a little more humour about it. Even in the face of big challenges like prostate cancer.
Dr. Alice Hucker
Clinical Psychologist & Sex Therapist