Category Archives: Sexual satisfaction

Hand-Break Off, Gas Pedal Down

Summarised from Come as You Are by Emily Nagosky.

In Nagosky’s book Come as You Are, she comprehensively explains a really useful theory in sexuality research – The Dual Control Model of sexual response.

Complicated name, but incredibly user-friendly.

This post is my summary of the most critical points in the theory, and how they might apply to our sex lives. Please indulge me as I use an automotive analogy throughout. Continue reading Hand-Break Off, Gas Pedal Down

Curating Your Erotic Diet

Eroticism can be defined in many ways. Here are a few definitions that I like:

  • a quality (in a person, artwork, fantasy, etc.) that causes sexual feelings;
  • a philosophical contemplation concerning the aesthetics of sexual desire, sensuality and romantic love;
  • a state of sexual arousal or anticipation – an insistent sexual impulse, desire, or pattern of thoughts;
  • the cultivation of pleasure for its own sake;
  • the exploration of sexual imagination and fantasies.

Continue reading Curating Your Erotic Diet

What Do You Bring to Bed?

When we step into a sexual scenario – whether it be with a long-term lover, a new romantic interest, or a casual rendezvous – we bring so much more than just our physical bodies and sexual skills.

We also bring our sexual anticipations and expectations, our fantasies, our fears and hang-ups, our mental health, our rules and restrictions, and our past experiences. We bring our whole self and our whole sexual belief system.

What do you bring to bed? Continue reading What Do You Bring to Bed?