I recently had the honour of interviewing Tanaya, a 32 year old mother, about her experiences of early motherhood and sexuality. Her partner is Jon, 34 years old, and their son Sean is currently 10 months old.
This is an abbreviated version of the interview. To read the full interview – go here.
ALICE: To start, maybe you can give a bit of an overview of how things have changed in your sex life, or your thoughts and feelings around sex, before pregnancy, during pregnancy and now that you’re breastfeeding. Continue reading Interview: Three in the Bed & the Mother Said… (short version)
In many relationships, talking about sex is difficult. And it can be especially difficult if your sex life isn’t going so smoothly.
For some couples, or perhaps in more casual sexual relationships too, the idea of going from no meaningful conversations about sex to full-on sex discussions about genitals, position preferences, sexual desire discrepancies and secret fantasies may feel like a very daunting leap.
And sometimes it’s best to start small. Continue reading Let’s Talk About Talking About Sex, Baby
At the budding stages of a new relationship, there is often lots of hand-holding, kissing, cuddling and spooning, as well as sexual intimacy.
But as a relationship goes on, the balance of different kinds of intimacy can get out of order. This seems to be especially so for couples struggling with sexual difficulties, such as a desire discrepancy or performance anxiety. Continue reading Sexual Intimacy and the 4:2:1 Ratio
Part 1 of this blog series described three common kinds of “low sexual desire” concerns.
Whilst different kinds of sexual desire concerns need to be approached in different ways, there are several ideas that can be helpful in all scenarios. And this is what I will cover here in Part 2.
The four key ideas covered here are: Understanding spontaneous and receptive sexual desire, knowing the value of sex in your life, using communication to negotiate a satisfying sex life, and exploring the conditions for good sex. Continue reading What is Low Sexual Desire? Part 2.
One of the most common and distressing sexual difficulties that couples present with when they see a sex therapist is that one partner in the couple has “low desire” or “no desire”.
This can translate into a variety of bedroom scenarios:
- One partner feeling unhappy that sex and intimacy is not occurring at the frequency they wish.
- The other partner feeling unhappy that sexual initiation is occurring far too often.
- Both partners feeling sexually depressed – this is not how they envisaged their sex life to be.
- One partner feeling inferior, guilty, pressured and hopeless.
- The other partner feeling out of control, rejected and also hopeless.
Continue reading What is Low Sexual Desire? Part 1.