Summarised from Come as You Are by Emily Nagosky.
In Nagosky’s book Come as You Are, she comprehensively explains a really useful theory in sexuality research – The Dual Control Model of sexual response.
Complicated name, but incredibly user-friendly.
This post is my summary of the most critical points in the theory, and how they might apply to our sex lives. Please indulge me as I use an automotive analogy throughout. Continue reading Hand-Break Off, Gas Pedal Down
A lot of people who own a penis or have sex with penis-owners find it difficult to request condom use (when safer-sex is relevant). And I’ve written about some of the reasons why here.
Alternatively, they might find it hard to follow through on their preference for condom use in the face of resistance from a play-mate, or in the face of lust (ie. sexual disinhibition once aroused).
And this was the topic of a discussion between myself & Victoria Cullen recently. I’ve written about Victoria before here – she is a Sex Educator and Researcher, and has a great sexuality blog called The Lubrarian. Continue reading Condom Prime-Time for Penis Lovers
The idea of providing a sperm sample during fertility preservation or reproductive treatment is a bit awkward and uncomfortable for most people considering it. And fair enough – you don’t usually have to ejaculate on command in a foreign location.
All of a sudden, the whole scientific community is in this private sphere of your life, and you have to masturbate into a cup.
But for some people, the idea may be particularly anxiety provoking and distressing.
Why does collection day cause anxiety?
Here are a few reasons why:
- You may be worried about “performance anxiety” in a strange and clinical environment, and not being able to arouse yourself to ejaculation;
- You may have been fine when you did the initial semen tests, but now feel the pressure of providing sperm on the actual big-day of treatment;
- You may have had issues in the past not being able to ejaculate in sexual or medical situations;
- You may not usually masturbating or you may be used to having a partner with you for sexual stimulation; or
- You may have personal or religious reasons for not masturbating.
Continue reading Andrology Angst: What are my Options Doc?
I recently had the pleasure of meeting up with a Melbourne-based Sex-Design Researcher by the name of Victoria Cullen. Victoria is a Workshop Facilitator and Sex Educator at Passionfruit: The Sensuality Shop. She also lectures for RMIT University in the Future Sex Studio where she teaches students about consumer-centered design for sex products, aids and services. And, she has recently started a great sexuality blog called The Lubrarian.
So, when a Psychologist and a Sex-Design Researcher walk into a bar, what do they talk about? Here’s a little summary of our interesting chats. Continue reading A Psychologist and a Sex-Design Researcher Walk into a Bar…
After my last post about Fear of Sex Education, I had some great replies on Facebook suggesting a diversity friendly kids book called What makes a Baby.
Unlike traditional books about baby-makin’ (which focus on a mumma and a dadda and… that’s about it), this books looks at all kinds of ways to make babies like using donor gametes (sperm, eggs, embryos) and surrogacy arrangements.
“What makes it new is that its a book about where babies come from that actually works for every kind of family and every kind of kid.” Continue reading Inclusive Sex Education for Kiddies