Last night I gave a talk on sexuality to a prostate cancer support group. After prostate cancer treatment, many men and couples struggle with changes in erectile function, as well as other changes that can impact sexuality like low mood, stress, lack of ejaculation, existential crisis, incontinence and side effects of medications.
My talk was about non-medical ways to foster enjoyable sexual experiences. And with a crowd all at least 30 years my senior, I wasn’t quite sure how they would respond to my no holds barred approach to talking about sex.
But to my great joy, this group was full of comedy. Continue reading Important Ingredients : Laughter
Sex therapy has been around a long time in many different shapes and forms, and each therapist has their own style and focus that works for them and their clients. As I was having some reflection time this week, I began to think about what concepts and ideas I find most helpful as a compass in my work.
Whilst I belief many different theories and strategies are helpful, these five main ideas are what guide my practice: Continue reading My Sex-Positive Compass
Over the past decade there has been lots of discussion about whether humans are “naturally” monogamous or if we are actually polyamorous creatures in a monogamy-focused culture. As these discussions increasingly focus on evidence that we evolved as promiscuous and non-monogamous mammals (just look at our close relatives, the lusty bonobos…), this can have the effect of threatening people’s ideas about what is right for them and whether they are making the right relationship choices.
This can be rather confronting.
But rather than seeing this evidence as a prescription for how you should be running your relationship/s, an alternative way to use this information is to acknowledge that our culture’s preferred form of relationship (the monogamous relationship) will come with challenges: The challenge of managing attractions to other people, the challenge of familiarity and reduced novelty, the challenge of managing ongoing conflict, and the challenge of routine.
And this is just to name a few. Continue reading If Humans are “Naturally” Promiscuous, is Monogamy Wrong?
On all my fingers & all my toes, I couldn’t count the amount of times someone has said
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how on earth did you get involved in sex therapy?”
And this is what I tell them:
I was always a very curious kid. I was the kind of kid who waited until my mum and my two sisters were all locked in the car before asking “Mum…what is a penis for?” or something of that nature.
I was the kind of kid who knew where all the books in the house with nudie pictures resided, and showed them to all my friends (one was an art book in my mum’s house with lovely fleshy ladies, and the others where sexology books in my dad’s therapy office). Continue reading How on Earth Did you get Involved in Sex Therapy?