Tag Archives: sexual intention

Condom Prime-Time for Penis Lovers

A lot of people who own a penis or have sex with penis-owners find it difficult to request condom use (when safer-sex is relevant). And I’ve written about some of the reasons why here.

Alternatively, they might find it hard to follow through on their preference for condom use in the face of resistance from a partner, or in the face of lust (ie. sexual disinhibition once aroused).

And this was the topic of a discussion between myself & Victoria Cullen recently. I’ve written about Victoria before here – she is a Sex Educator and Researcher, and has a great sexuality blog called The Lubrarian. Continue reading Condom Prime-Time for Penis Lovers

Quickie Blog: Creative Ways to Give Them Pleasure

It’s common for sex to become overly goal oriented in both casual and  long-term relationships. Often the goal is about achieving orgasm – either your own orgasm or your lover’s orgasm – and perhaps both.

(At certain times in a long-term relationship, the goal may be more procreative – to make a baby. And you can read more about this here and here).

And while it isn’t rare to have goal-oriented sex – and it’s encouraged by books, movies, porn and peers – this kind of narrow sexual goal can get a bit rigid and uncreative, leading to mechanical or less enjoyable sex in the long run. Continue reading Quickie Blog: Creative Ways to Give Them Pleasure

Let’s Talk About Talking About Sex, Baby

In many relationships, talking about sex is difficult. And it can be especially difficult if your sex life isn’t going so smoothly.

For some couples, or perhaps in more casual sexual relationships too, the idea of going from no meaningful conversations about sex to full-on sex discussions about erections, position preferences, sexual desire discrepancies and secret fantasies may feel like a very daunting leap.

And sometimes it’s best to start small. Continue reading Let’s Talk About Talking About Sex, Baby

What Do You Bring to Bed?

When we step into a sexual scenario – whether it be with a long-term lover, a new romantic interest, or a casual rendezvous – we bring so much more than just our physical bodies and sexual skills.

We also bring our sexual anticipations and expectations, our fantasies, our fears and hang-ups, our mental health, our rules and restrictions, and our past experiences. We bring our whole self and our whole sexual belief system.

What do you bring to bed? Continue reading What Do You Bring to Bed?