Summarised from Come as You Are by Emily Nagosky.
In Nagosky’s book Come as You Are, she comprehensively explains a really useful theory in sexuality research – The Dual Control Model of sexual response.
Complicated name, but incredibly user-friendly.
This post is my summary of the most critical points in the theory, and how they might apply to our sex lives. Please indulge me as I use an automotive analogy throughout. Continue reading Hand-Break Off, Gas Pedal Down
A lot of people who own a penis or have sex with penis-owners find it difficult to request condom use (when safer-sex is relevant). And I’ve written about some of the reasons why here.
Alternatively, they might find it hard to follow through on their preference for condom use in the face of resistance from a play-mate, or in the face of lust (ie. sexual disinhibition once aroused).
And this was the topic of a discussion between myself & Victoria Cullen recently. I’ve written about Victoria before here – she is a Sex Educator and Researcher, and has a great sexuality blog called The Lubrarian. Continue reading Condom Prime-Time for Penis Lovers
I recently had the pleasure of meeting up with a Melbourne-based Sex-Design Researcher by the name of Victoria Cullen. Victoria is a Workshop Facilitator and Sex Educator at Passionfruit: The Sensuality Shop. She also lectures for RMIT University in the Future Sex Studio where she teaches students about consumer-centered design for sex products, aids and services. And, she has recently started a great sexuality blog called The Lubrarian.
So, when a Psychologist and a Sex-Design Researcher walk into a bar, what do they talk about? Here’s a little summary of our interesting chats. Continue reading A Psychologist and a Sex-Design Researcher Walk into a Bar…
After my last post about Fear of Sex Education, I had some great replies on Facebook suggesting a diversity friendly kids book called What makes a Baby.
Unlike traditional books about baby-makin’ (which focus on a mumma and a dadda and… that’s about it), this books looks at all kinds of ways to make babies like using donor gametes (sperm, eggs, embryos) and surrogacy arrangements.
“What makes it new is that its a book about where babies come from that actually works for every kind of family and every kind of kid.” Continue reading Inclusive Sex Education for Kiddies
Last night I gave a talk on sexuality to a prostate cancer support group. After prostate cancer treatment, many men and couples struggle with changes in erectile function, as well as other changes that can impact sexuality like low mood, stress, lack of ejaculation, existential crisis, incontinence and side effects of medications.
My talk was about non-medical ways to foster enjoyable sexual experiences. And with a crowd all at least 30 years my senior, I wasn’t quite sure how they would respond to my no holds barred approach to talking about sex.
But to my great joy, this group was full of comedy. Continue reading Important Ingredients : Laughter
Sex therapy has been around a long time in many different shapes and forms, and each therapist has their own style and focus that works for them and their clients. As I was having some reflection time this week, I began to think about what concepts and ideas I find most helpful as a compass in my work.
Whilst I belief many different theories and strategies are helpful, these five main ideas are what guide my practice: Continue reading My Sex-Positive Compass