Tag Archives: Novelty

Quickie Blog: Creative Ways to Give Them Pleasure

It’s common for sex to become overly goal oriented in both casual and  long-term relationships. Often the goal is about achieving orgasm – either your own orgasm or your lover’s orgasm – and perhaps both.

(At certain times in a long-term relationship, the goal may be more procreative – to make a baby. And you can read more about this here and here).

And while it isn’t rare to have goal-oriented sex – and it’s encouraged by books, movies, porn and peers – this kind of narrow sexual goal can get a bit rigid and uncreative, leading to mechanical or less enjoyable sex in the long run. Continue reading Quickie Blog: Creative Ways to Give Them Pleasure

Curating Your Erotic Diet

Eroticism can be defined in many ways. Here are a few definitions that I like:

  • a quality (in a person, artwork, fantasy, etc.) that causes sexual feelings;
  • a philosophical contemplation concerning the aesthetics of sexual desire, sensuality and romantic love;
  • a state of sexual arousal or anticipation – an insistent sexual impulse, desire, or pattern of thoughts;
  • the cultivation of pleasure for its own sake;
  • the exploration of sexual imagination and fantasies.

Continue reading Curating Your Erotic Diet

Novelty Nervousness and the 5-Minute Rule

In recent posts I’ve been discussing the idea of sexual novelty and variety. Go here for an overview, or go here to read about The Healthy Sex Pyramid.

But even when we believe a bit of variety might be nice, the idea of introducing something new to our sexual repertoire can be very daunting.

Perhaps you’d like to try some dirty talk or sexual narration. Or maybe a new sexual position or location. Maybe role-play is on your to-try list, or perhaps you’d like to experiment with being more sexually assertive or sexually submissive in bed.

Whatever it is that you or a partner are suggesting, here is a little tip for easing the anxiety. Continue reading Novelty Nervousness and the 5-Minute Rule

Long Distance Lovin’

My recent interstate move got me thinking about long distance relationships.

All relationships have periods of separation, whether it be due to work trips, leisure travel, or temporarily or permanently living in different cities.

In some circumstances, the distance might be a nice chance to have a little break from intimacy – an opportunity to miss each others touch and build anticipation for their return. Continue reading Long Distance Lovin’